Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
