those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
