my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
