god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
