Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize