Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
