how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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