don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
