Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
