Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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