oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
