so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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