I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Randomize
