Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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