I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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