I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
