I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
