my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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