You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
