i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
