Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
