I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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