I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We need to rekindle our bromance
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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