i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
