I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
