covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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