its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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