super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
