just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
NoShamevember. You game?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
