Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
