She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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