is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
