I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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