Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
