we're blogging at a bar
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
