Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Found the puke drawer
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
