I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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