I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
