My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
