..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
