You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
