No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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