you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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