I wannas sexs uuuuu
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
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