Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
