How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
