New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
