good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
