if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
