i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
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