Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
