I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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