you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
