You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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