dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
