Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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