I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
