you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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