Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Help me help you realize you are a moron
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
