My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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